Finding joy in the little wins, the messy middle, and learning something new.
There's something humbling about being a beginner. Especially when you've reached an age where you feel like you should probably know what you're doing by now. I've spent decades building a career, solving problems, leading teams, and becoming pretty comfortable figuring things out. And over the past several years, I've worked hard to develop my skills and confidence as an artist.
But lately? I've been feeling like a complete beginner all over again.
And surprisingly, I'm kind of loving it.
A New Camera, a Sketchbook, and a Lot of Question Marks
I've decided to start experimenting with video. I love the idea of documenting my painting process, sharing little glimpses of my studio, and perhaps eventually creating a YouTube channel. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, apparently buying a tiny camera does not automatically make you a filmmaker.
There's filming, transferring footage, organizing files, editing, music, transitions, and approximately a thousand things I haven't even discovered yet. More than once, I've found myself staring at my computer wondering if I'm simply too old and out of touch to figure all of this out. And then something wonderful happened.
After struggling to transfer my camera footage to my laptop, I tried a different USB cord. That was it. A different cord. Suddenly, all of my footage transferred, and I felt like I'd just conquered the technological universe.
Seriously. I was on top of the world. Over a USB cord.
But here's the thing. That little victory felt AMAZING.
The Beautiful Mess of a Sketchbook
At the same time, I've started a new morning ritual. Before my corporate workday begins, I sit in my sunroom studio with a cup of coffee and my sketchbook. I've decided to fill it with little scenes from around town, using photographs I've taken of places I love. A favorite building, a waterfront view, a flower, a little piece of the community I call home. I'm much more comfortable with a paintbrush than a pencil, so drawing is something I really want to practice.
And let me tell you, there are moments when my sketchbook feels like a hot mess. The perspective is off. The lines are crooked. Something that looked perfectly reasonable in my head looks completely different on the page.
But I keep going. And then something interesting happens.
I close the sketchbook, go about my day, and come back to it later. Suddenly, I'm not looking at all the mistakes. I'm seeing the colors, the personality, the little scenes I've captured.
And I feel a tiny bit of pride.
Not because I've created a masterpiece, but because I'm learning. Because I tried something that doesn't come easily to me. And because, despite all those imperfect lines, I made something that makes me smile.
Maybe the Little Wins Aren't So Little
I've been thinking about why these small victories feel so good. As adults, we spend so much of our lives focused on big accomplishments. Promotions, milestones, goals, deadlines, and the next thing we're supposed to achieve. We become accustomed to measuring progress by results. And somewhere along the way, I think we forget how exciting it can be to learn something completely new.
Remember being a kid and figuring out how to ride a bike? Or finally mastering something you'd been practicing for weeks? That feeling of I DID IT!
I'm discovering that it doesn't go away just because we get older. Sometimes it just takes a little more courage to put ourselves in situations where we don't already know the answers.
And perhaps a little more patience with ourselves along the way.
Giving Myself Permission to Be New at Something
I'll admit that learning new things at this stage of life can be intimidating. There's a little voice that occasionally whispers that maybe I'm too old for all this. That technology is moving too fast. That everyone else already knows what they're doing. But I'm starting to question that voice. Because every time I figure something out, no matter how small, I'm reminded that I'm still capable of learning, growing, and surprising myself.
I don't have to be great at drawing to enjoy my sketchbook. I don't have to understand video editing to start collecting footage. And I certainly don't have to have everything figured out before I begin.
In fact, maybe the most exciting part of this chapter is realizing just how much there still is to learn.
Here's to the Little Wins
I don't know exactly where all of this is going. Maybe my sketchbook will inspire a new collection of paintings. Maybe I'll eventually figure out how to make beautiful, relaxing videos that people enjoy watching. Maybe I'll look back at my first attempts and laugh at how much I didn't know.
Probably all three.
But right now, I'm finding so much joy in the process itself. In quiet mornings with coffee and a sketchbook. In discovering that a drawing I almost gave up on is actually pretty charming.
And yes, in the ridiculous excitement of successfully transferring a bunch of video files. Because sometimes progress doesn't look like a major accomplishment.
Sometimes it looks like a crooked line, a new skill, or the right USB cord.
And sometimes, those little wins are exactly what we need to remind ourselves that we're capable of more than we think.
Here's to being a beginner, no matter how old we are. And to celebrating every little victory along the way.
